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Gap in mental health support for CEOs and Executive Level Leaders

I’m sure, as the wave of mentally healthy workplace programs progress, the light will eventually shine on this group, but in the meantime, I am formally recognising that there is a gap in mental health support for top tier professionals.

Many CEOs and Executive Leaders contact me because of the compelling promise I make. Compelling because it goes right to the heart of the challenge, fears and deep desire of those ‘steering the ship’:

“I’ll help you maintain professional momentum within very demanding business environments without losing what you value most – your Health; your Relationships; and your Peace of Mind”

We all know that these three elements underpin a contented, fulfilled life, and most of us understand that maintaining our health, positive relationships and peace of mind requires an element of commitment.  We know deep down that we might be able to take these for granted for a little while, but if we don’t nurture and feed these elements, we’ll suffer and so will those around us.

In the past 12 months, as I’ve spoken to many leaders about my unique Counselling Practice and supported clients through some pretty challenging issues, two messages have made me stop and reflect on the crucial need for specialist counselling support for the CEOs and Executives.

 

  1.    Who’s looking after the person looking after us?

Those under the most pressure; those more likely to hide their own emotional struggles due to their profile and the expectations of their role; and those with the responsibility to create mentally healthy workplaces receive minimal specialist mental health support and resources addressing the unique context within which they live and work.

This message came from an ex-client of mine, a Transport Industry Executive, during a very enlightening discussion. He said –

       “It’s only in the wee hours that anxieties about my investment (or lack of) in my health, my family and friendships and my own peace of mind bubbles to the surface.  Sometimes I make deals with myself to spend more time with my beautiful teenage boy and my wife…sometimes I decide I’ll get up an hour earlier to walk the dog, and sometimes those terrifying questions come to mind – am I doing what I am meant to be doing with my life?”

 

  1.    “Everyone wants a piece of me”

This message was also received from one of my clients, and also made me pause for thought about this broader issue. When I hear this, I know there’s a need for more support for this level of leadership.  This isn’t weakness or lack of skill, this is an accurate reflection of the reality for many CEOs and Executives. This is why our top tier leaders need breathing space to be vulnerable, gain perspective, be supported so they can keep doing the great work that many of them are doing.

Therapeutic conversation or Counselling, approaches the client as a human being first and a professional second. I’m sure, as the wave of mentally healthy workplace programs progress, the light will eventually shine on this group, but in the meantime, I am formally recognising that there is a gap in mental health support for top tier professionals.

 

Breathing Space – What I provide

As a Counsellor specialising in working with high performing professionals in the business arena, I provide a safe confidential space for leaders to drop the game face.  To stop and check in: reflect on the state of their health; their relationships; and their peace of mind.

A mentally healthy workplace starts at the top…and the top team need to live and breathe their understanding and commitment to this, so support for this team (for creating positive relationships, living agreed values and behaviours) and the individuals within it, is crucial.

One of the benefits for Executives utilising Breathing Space counselling service is that, as an experienced senior leader and Board Director, I understand the context within which you work: the pressures; the imperatives; the dynamics so you don’t have to spend all your time explaining! You will be understood, and you will receive skilled confidential, non-judgmental emotional support.  

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Imposter Syndrome

The enemy of Imposter Syndrome is talk. Bring it out into the light and give voice to your thoughts. Counselling is the best way to do this, as it will provide you with the space to speak your mind with a skilled, non-judgmental professional.

What is it?

For some, Imposter Syndrome is a debilitating psychological pattern of beliefs caused by a fear of being exposed as fraudulent and undeserving of personal achievements. These fears are rarely expressed but are instead held internally, making them extremely difficult to acknowledge and address.

It’s not actually a mental disorder, but it can be an entrenched belief or way of thinking that feeds anxiety and stress. These internalised fears will also drive certain limiting behaviours and create negative feelings, and will include a belief that no matter how much progress you make or success you achieve, you don’t truly deserve your accomplishments.

These feelings of fraudulence are actually very common – I recognise a dose of it myself and I’m aware when it raises its head. I understand it and can acknowledge it and address it if I feel it’s presence. For many who haven’t had the opportunity to really acknowledge, explore and address it, it’s a feeling that can be hard to shake.

People who are particularly highly skilled or accomplished – the high achievers among us – tend to think others are just as skilled and that they don’t deserve acknowledgement or opportunities over other people. In a nutshell, since it’s tough to really know how hard our peers work, how difficult they find certain tasks, or how much they doubt themselves, there’s no easy way to dismiss feelings that we’re less capable than the people around us.

How do I address Imposter Syndrome (IS)?

Counselling will help you shine a light on those debilitating feelings and take the power away from them, helping you understand and address your IS tendency in a meaningful and sustainable way.

As a counsellor, I believe when we know the WHY behind such things, we have more power over the feeling and we are better able to solve/change or minimise it. Knowing why enables you to start addressing it from a base of understanding and can lead to more compassionate thoughts  about ourselves, alleviating some of that critical or fearful self-talk.

So, if you suspect you are struggling with Imposter Syndrome, here are 4 ways to help you to start addressing it:

  1. Read about it!

Gaining a general understanding about what IS is and it’s associated symptoms will make acknowledging your own internalised fears easier. If you experience some of the thoughts and feelings listed in articles you read, then…

  1. Talk about it!

The enemy of IS is talk. Bring it out into the light and give voice to your thoughts. Counselling is the best way to do this, as it will provide you with the space to speak your mind with a skilled, non-judgmental professional. Counselling will help you shine a light on those debilitating feelings and take the power away from them, helping you understand and address your IS tendency in a meaningful and sustainable way.

  1. Collect data

Collect data regarding your positive experiences and achievements and use it to test your assumptions and negative thoughts.  Look at the tangible evidence of your achievements such as positive performance reviews, awards, qualifications etc.

  1. Finally, realise you’re not alone

Having open conversations about challenges is another way we can undercut feelings of imposterism — which may never entirely fade — because those common experiences can help us realise we’re not as alone in our insecurities as we feel.

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Time for Leaders to Reflect

Now is the time for Leaders to stop, debrief and reflect. For some of us it’s time to celebrate. For some it’s time to change and rebuild. For all of us it’s time to embrace the lessons of 2018 before we sit down with our loved (or unloved) ones at the Christmas dinner table.

At this time of year, are you actively picking up the pace to meet end-of-year deadlines in order to shift gears and don the Santa hat; join Christmas celebrations with friends; buy and wrap presents; pack and get on a plane; step back into your ‘role’ in your extended family (whether you like it or not) and drink that Christmas cheer?

If so, you risk overlooking one of your most crucial and meaningful obligations..

Are you taking time to stop and reflect on the year that was?

As a person wearing many hats: a leader in your organisation; a professional within your sector; a husband or wife; mother or father; family member and friend; an individual with passions and interests, how did you embrace (or cope with) being all of these things while leading a complex  busy ever-changing organisation in 2018?

And how do you manage the shift from your ‘work self’ to your family and social self at this time of year?

Engaging in meaningful reflection at the end of a big year allows you to lighten your emotional load, learn valuable lessons, celebrate your wins and acknowledge and embrace your failures. Most importantly, being able to understand and appreciate the year you’ve had will allow you to be more present with family and friends over the holiday period.

WHAT But what do you reflect upon?

A good place to start could be asking yourself: What have I learnt on both a personal and professional level in 2018? What lessons am I taking with me into 2019? What negative thoughts and feelings do I risk taking with me into 2019?

HOW do I reflect meaningfully?

Consider sitting with a counsellor like myself to help you drop the game face and be truly honest about your observations and experiences this year.  The counselling process helps you tap into authentic and often powerful insights, and will leave you feeling happier and healthier for your holiday break!

If you can’t get to a counsellor, take an hour, sit on some grass and ask yourself some of these questions:

  • What am I proud of this year
  • What has left me feeling fearful, confused, angry?
  • What am I grateful for?
  • What am I avoiding?
  • What am I worried about going into the Christmas period?
  • How am I impacting my relationships at work?
  • What relationships do I want to improve?
  • Do I need to stop and acknowledge a valuable experience; a person who made a difference; a failure; a win?
  • What do I need to process and leave behind in the office?  
  • What difficult feelings do I need to shine a light on and bring to the surface before they affect my down time, my sleep and even my relationships?

What are the benefits of reflecting now?

When you think about it, the benefits of Reflection at the end of the year are compelling.

  • Lighten your emotional and mental load and be present for family and friends – honour your family and friends by leaving your work challenges and the emotions, thoughts and behaviours they trigger, at work.
  • Feel good about 2019 – look to 2019 with excitement and determination, not dread.
  • Celebrate your wins
  • Acknowledge, value and learn from your failures and slip-ups
  • Role model the practice of reflection – for those around you
  • Learn more about yourself – your emotional, mental and behavioural patterns
  • Feel emotionally refreshed – not drained, for the festive season
  • Get closure on some of the big challenges you faced in 2019

 

As I wind down my Counselling Practice for another year, I wonder how many business leaders struck a balance by bringing their ‘whole selves’ to work in 2018? How many inadvertently ignored the human side of their work personality and missed opportunities to reflect and learn about themselves?

For your own good mental health and the health of your family and friends, I implore you to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through your observations, experiences and emotions and kick start the process of reflection, self-awareness and learning. You will enter the Christmas period with a lighter load and look towards 2019 with a greater sense of hope.

I will help you maintain professional momentum within complex business environments without losing what you value most: Your health; your relationships; and your peace of mind.….